Silent death ray of DOOM

Sheesh. 12ooo words in and my novel freaking doesn't have any dialogue. No wondered I'm bored. My characters are so wrapped in their angsty little lives they've forgotten how to talk.

It's so not cool.

Last year I wrote whole chapters of unintelligible conversations.

"Robby? Robby, where are you? I can't see you! Come back!"
"Relax. I'm right here. So do you want one?"
"Where are you?"
"Open your mouth"
"Ahhh."
"Okay, now swallow."
"What? There's nothing--"
"Jemima! You dropped it on the pavement. Oh, that's gross. Try again. And when I say 'swallow', just do it."
So I do.
"Am I invisible now?"
"Congratulations!"


I am going to have to get Io in with her new gang of friends seriously quick. Jemima liked to talk. Io's too sullen, and prefers to give people meaningful glares.

"I like your dress."
"Glare."

Soooigh.