Welcome to my mind

Should I ever be admitted to a psychiatric hospital, please someone burn my 2006 novel before it falls into the hands of my doctor. Just as my mindless classroom scribbles have previously evoked the diagnosis 'schizophrenic and weird', the last 5000 words of this novel are going to get me branded 'morbid and angsty'. Well, I'm not schizophrenic or angsty or morbid and I'm not particularly weird, either, as far as weirdness goes. But I've just read over that last chapter...

Huge plot twist! I had no idea it was coming. On Death Row, the prisoners are subjected to watching a sometimes fabricated, sometimes real film of the lowest, scariest, most shameful moments of their life. So Io's watching this film, and she's holding up okay, she knows when they're telling the truth and when they're lying, and although the truth is alarming, she feels she can still redeem herself. She's not totally worthless as a human.
...until it comes to the scene where she and Cindy are fighting Mr. Random Stranglelove, Esq., for their freedom. This is something Io's been trying to block ever since it happened. As she recalls it, she was the one under attack, and Cindy was the one who strangled Random Stranglelove, thus saving Io's live and becoming her personal hero. Everyone else certainly believed that it was Cindy who did the deed, and basically Cindy gets hanged for it. But in this film that Io's watching, it is she herself who strangles Random, saving Cindy's life. Now she's faced with the most terrible, horrible, awful thought of all. Cindy's copped the blame and has died for something Io's done. Io killed not only Random, but her best friend to boot.

So Io's got to deal with that. Except that we never actually find out if she does, because next there's the huge explosion that blows the whole army fortress apart, in Alex's and Cyril's desparate attempt to bust out their friends. Well, Astrid's execution went according to plan, but Neko and the Shuba do make it out alive. There they are, on the other side of the wall, it's a beautiful, warm afternoon, the sea breeze is in, their friends turn up in a really flash stolen car, and they're alive. Then they stumble across Io's corpse.

I expect, Io being the good-girl protagonist, she does somehow deal with Cindy's death and doesn't condemn herself to animal status or sell her soul to the devil or anything like that. I don't know myself. She's my character, but I have no idea what went through her mind in those last hours. I take heart from the fact that she is found outside the death camp, suggesting that somehow she found forgiveness and decided her life and future were worthy enough to attempt the escape. But honestly, that's just speculation.

At least her dad gets out alive. I know his was the most important story, but I've left it untold. I think it's fairly obvious, however, that he does redeem himself, that no matter how low and cruel and murderous and, well, Gollum-like you become, there is maybe still hope for you.

Trying to summarise the final chapter like this, the Christian theme which I never really planned to include is hitting me smack in the face. Now it's there, I'm not going to change it, but I was definitely wary of writing some kinda propaganda or allegorical tripe. Oh, well. I think it's inevitable, when writing basically a 50k stream of conscious in a month, that you will produce a whole lot of stuff you never intended.