On reflection...

The stream of conscious in my previous post, although portraying something I do struggle with, isn't actually my gripe at the moment.

What I want to know is... if I consider the foundation stone of my faith to have nothing to do with my thoughts and my feelings (and I do still consider this to be the case), then exactly how cool am I with the notion that every other aspect of my faith could conceivably be construed, I'll freely admit this, as something I made up? Why do all the relational bits of religion seem to be just me injecting meaning into a messy, insignificant life?
Is that okay?
Is that cool?
Am I happy with that?
What's the alternative?
If God left a post on this blog, would I feel better?
Would I believe that?
Would I be satisfied?
Is there anyway God could present himself to which I couldn't reply, "I did that myself"?
I'm not sure there is.
Is that just the way it is?
Do I accept that?
I want to. But. I don't know if I am very cool with it at the moment.

"Those voices you hear, they're just your imagination."
"Yes. I know. That's how God speaks to me."